Extraordinary Rendition

Until recently, I thought my parents were normal, everyday, loving people. Parents who had normal jobs and fit into traditional American culture. This is the story of how I found out that my parents are not normal. They are secret agents.

It all started this past Monday. I first noticed things weren't quite right because Mommy got up before 10 am. She was up at 9 o'clock sharp. Then she and Daddy both started packing. They packed clothes and food for what seemed like a week. Dad packed his computer and other things from work. Then they started packing things for me including even my singing Teddy Bear that makes womb sounds to help me sleep. This was quite alarming! Something was definitely up.

All of this was quite strange, Mom and Dad didn't seem panicked. They went about packing the car calmly and early in the afternoon they put me in my car seat and we drove away from the house. Little did I know my whole world was about to be turned upside down.

Now, I don't mind car rides, so long as they are short. But if you take me in a car and it becomes clear to me that we are leaving town, I reserve the right to get a little upset. I mean, this was not in my plans for the day. Walks, sleeping, feeding, regular diaper changes . . . these are all things I anticipate, plan for and even enjoy. But out of the blue car rides to who knows where, for goodnes knows how long? These I strongly object to. So, I threw my fit as we left town, we stopped, and Mom soothed me and let me know things were fine. Ok, at that point I at least feel like I've been consulted and I give my consent. I settled down for a little car ride. Well, the next thing I knew we were some place on the south end of Hood Canal, at Potlatch State Park. I had slept most of the way. We stopped there and I got a nice long feeding and a diaper change. Ok, they are attending to my priorities, I guess I can go along with this a little longer. We drove some more. A lot more.

The next time I awoke we were near the Pacific Ocean! We checked into a big hotel in Ocean Shores, the Quileute Resort and Casino. No my parents were not going out for a weekend of gambling. They have a whole different addiction entirely. They had come to this far off place for a great gathering. Who would come to the far reaches of the Washington Coast to conduct a meeting out from under the prying noses of mainstream society? Revolutionaries, that's who! Insurgents! People that want to change America, change our lifestyles, and change our very way of living. Imagine my shock when I discovered that my mild-mannered parents are card carrying members of the Renewable Energy Movement.

You know what I'm talking about don't you? People who want to put solar panels on every sunny roof. People who like wind farms and think they look like giant, moving art sculptures. Folks who think the rancid stench of brewing biodiesel in the morning smells like "victory." People who want electric cars, electric bikes, and want to tear down the icons to the freeway age like the Seattle Viaduct and replace them with people sized surface streets and sidewalks. Real whackos, you know?

Mom and Dad had travelled to Ocean Shores so Dad could attend the northwest "solar summit." Mom thought it was relaxing to spend some time with me at the beach at a resort. Ha, ha, ha . . . I'd show her!

Dad later told me there were more than a hundred other solar enthusiasts in attendance. Politicians, utility professionals, solar installars, manufacturers of solar panels, and environmental activists. My Dad works for a solar installation company called Power Trip Energy and his goal is to get as many solar power systems installed on sunny roofs as possible. This allows people to make their own electricity from sunlight. His job title is "solar agent." Ok, I basically will come, over time, to believe my parents are dorks. That's my job as their child. But right now I think my Dad's job is cool.

So what were Mom and I doing while Dad was learning about solar trends. Well, we walked the ocean beach a few times (a first for me), I got fed in our room a lot, and we walked around the resort and casino many times, and I got fed in our hotel room a lot. You could say by the end of the two days Mom and I were pretty sick of that room. Also, I'm all for Native American sovereignty, but I can't say I care for the inside of a casino either. The people who worked there were very nice though.

One nice thing we did, after Dad's conference was over on the second day we all went swimming in the pool (another first). I have to say I really like the water. Maybe I'll be a lifeguard when I'm older like my Mom and Dad.

So, eventually after two and a half days and two nights the conference was over and it was time to go home. We were all tired. It was late afternoon. I think Mom and Dad were under the delusion that the ride back to Port Townsend would be similar to the ride to Ocean Shores. But this time I knew what I was in for, a long trip. And it was getting dark. I couldn't see anything out the windows! I won't bore you with the long story but, let's just the say the trip back was a bit . . . unpleasant. Imagine the Donner Party expedition, except we didn't have to eat each other to survive. After a 6 hour trip that included 6 stops, much of the latter part I spent screaming my little lungs out because I wanted the whole thing to be over, we reached home. It was quite a relief to all of us.

Now, I'm quite open to more trips and more adventures. I generally like a little adventure. Just so long as I'm not in my car seat too long, I get to go outside a bit, and I get plenty of comfortable eating and sleeping. But please, next time I would like more family members involved so I can be held by familiar family members of people, more walking outside, and more swimming if at all possible. And I definitely do not want to spend nearly 2 days in a hotel room by myself with Mom again or 6 hours driving at night. And I think Mom and Dad got that message loud and clear.